Tag Archives: Christy Avery

Proposed Kentucky bills threaten livelihoods of transgender youth

Story by Christy Avery

Art by Scarlett Hatton

 “Live and let live.”

A hackneyed phrase, maybe. Meaningful all the same.

Upon hearing it, most people would give a nod in agreement, acknowledging the age-old practice of “minding your business.” Most people do it: most people do not care what another has for dinner, or if their favorite color is red instead of blue, or what kind of toilet paper someone else may be desperately stocking up on during the ongoing coronavirus epidemic. Most people generally do not care what someone else’s life looks like. 

Until it comes down to which bathroom someone gets to use, or what sports team they can play on, or whether or not they have the right to receive medical care. 

Then, “let live” takes on a different meaning. 

You can probably tell which direction this is going in by that last paragraph, which is all the more telling that the debate over transgender rights has dragged on for far too long. I will not give a history lesson, because it probably is not needed; year after year, the same arguments over pronouns, biology, and sex versus gender keep people on each side of the issue at each other’s throats — and in doing so, keep the world from solidifying a new outlook. Or at least, letting it go. 

Which is why I was both exasperated but not surprised to recently learn that, in the midst of a global pandemic and the rest of the world’s chaos, mind you, that Kentucky lawmakers proposed a series of bills late last year that if passed by the end of the legislative season, April 15, would limit essential rights of transgender youth in Kentucky schools. 

One of the bills, known as the Kentucky Student Privacy Act, would require students to use only the facilities such as bathrooms and locker rooms that corresponded with their biological sex, as “allowing students to use restrooms, locker rooms, or showers that are reserved for students of a different biological sex: a). will create a significant potential for disruption of school activities and unsafe conditions, and b). will create potential embarrassment, shame, and psychological injury to students.” 

The concern makes sense. Nobody wants to be seen in a state of undress. But its relevance here is questionable. The concern of decency, especially in a school setting, is why there are not cameras in facilities, and why there are separate bathroom and shower stalls. Which brings us to another logical point: a person’s genitalia, whether or not it “matches” with their chosen gender, cannot be seen through a locked door. And when it comes to locker rooms, cisgender people do not always want to undress out in the open, either; I never felt comfortable doing so until my senior year. That, however, does not rid me of the fact that I, like many others, am lucky: the way I feel about my gender matches my body, and therefore I am welcomed in the appropriate spaces. I can walk into the girls’ restroom or locker room and go about my business unquestioned.

Although many seem to believe otherwise, transgender people just want to do the same. They use the restroom and shower just like everyone else. What is underneath their towel or behind the door is private, and unlikely to be seen anyway. So as understandable as it is to want privacy, it is not black-and-white; there are solutions that span beyond locking innocent people out. Schools could provide more unisex, gender-neutral bathrooms, or, if nothing else, request that a transgender student use a stall within the locker room that corresponds to their gender. And if a cisgender person feels uncomfortable at the mere presence of a transgender student? They could do what they have had the opportunity to do all along: mind their own business or find another way to do it. 

It can be that simple to not cause a riot. So one wonders where the “psychological trauma” comes in. 

 That brings us right back around to Kentucky lawmakers. House Bill 321, introduced simultaneously with the Student Privacy Act, aims to prohibit medical professionals from performing procedures or prescribing medications to transgender youth. Rep. Savannah Maddox backs the bill, writing on her Facebook page last fall that “I am a strong advocate for parents’ rights–but it is not the right of a parent to permanently alter a child’s gender or identity, even when based upon certain behaviors or the perceptions of a child’s mind which has not yet had time to fully develop.” 

There appears to be some confusion here: if it is not even the right of a parent to decide what their child gets to do, how is it the right of a lawmaker to decide? 

One could argue that Maddox is simply doing her job: trying to protect citizens. I would argue that she is protecting nobody at all, especially not with misinformation. While the process of transitioning is certainly a big one, it is not taken lightly, and the medical providers lawmakers threaten to punish with a Class D felony–which holds a sentence of up to five years–work closely with families to ensure a slow transition, one that can be adjusted if done early enough. Puberty blockers, for example, are typically used to “allow these families the opportunity to hit a pause button… until we know that it is either the right or the wrong direction for their particular child,” said Dr. Rob Garofolo in an interview to FRONTLINE

The “certain behaviors” and “perceptions” cited as reasons to block medical treatment can be explored during this time. But that’s only if the parent — and the child — is given the right to do so. It’s only after many years of a child affirming their gender socially and medically that they are able to begin the process of reassignment surgery or hormones if desired. A typical concern, as Maddox wrote, is that parents are likely to somehow push their children into further changes, or that if a minor does choose themselves, they will regret it.

But the desire to physically embody how one feels about themselves does not begin or end with a birthday, and regret is uncommon: in a 2015 study by the U.S. National Center for Transgender Equality, only 8 percent of nearly 28,000 people expressed a sense of regret after transitioning. 

The real risk is that, in ignoring the phrase “let live,” lawmakers are quite literally putting lives in danger. In grumbling about a child’s mind not yet being developed, Maddox forgets that nearly every medical source out there asserts that the brain is not fully developed until age 25. Making minors wait until they are 18 to receive hormone therapy or surgery adds years onto the mental health issues that are caused by dysphoria: in a study published by the Journal of Adolescent Health in 2014, it was found that transgender youth have a “twofold to threefold” increased risk of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. In another study by the American Academy of Pediatrics, 50 percent of trans boys, 41 percent of nonbinary teens and 30 percent of trans girls had attempted suicide in their lifetime. 

Transgender healthcare can be irreversible in some aspects. But then again, are tattoos not the same? Same with piercings, in a sense? Teens choose to get those with relatively little uproar. But yet, when a child wants to confirm who they are, we fret and fuss and complicate the deliberate and often slow choices that are, frankly, none of our business at all. 

Medical providers — and parents, for that matter — should not be punished for simply doing their jobs, to help and support those in their care. Making it illegal to do so demonstrates a belief that parents and doctors are incompetent, and shows that the experiences of transgender youth apparently are not valid enough. Even if all that trans youth want is to exist safely and happily within this world, to make choices that everyone may not agree with, but that harm no one. And, most importantly, keep them existing. 

“Live and let live.” To lawmakers, it seems to be one or the other. 

I hope on April 15, they will make the right choice. 

 

Links to bills: 

https://legiscan.com/KY/bill/HB132/2020

https://legiscan.com/KY/bill/HB321/2020

 

Interviews with Teresa Hebert and Tabitha Lopp

Editor’s Note: To read more about Miles for Merry Miracles assisting local youth, and to read a column on poverty by opinion editor Christy Avery, see today’s print edition of The Bagpiper.

Teresa Hebert is the Miles for Merry Miracles coordinator. She frequently works with various charities and organizations centered around poverty and education.

B: The holidays can be a challenging time for those in need. What do you think are some of the struggles they face, and why do you think poverty is such an issue?”

TH: “Kids who come back from Christmas, they see all of their friends who have gotten this or gotten that. They feel thankful for shoes and clothes, but all these other kids have gotten Xboxes and tickets to the nicest concerts in town…. A lot of people, especially this time of year, feel like they have to compete… but we forget that the greatest gift is the gift of giving. I don’t remember 90 percent of the gifts I got, but I remember how I felt.”

B: What differences have you observed, if any, in the way poverty affects children versus adults?

TH: “Kids in poverty, they often don’t know it. And I’m happy to know that they don’t know it. But I remember, six years ago, a mom—she had maybe four kids—I asked her, “What would you like for Christmas?” She wanted an umbrella and blue eye makeup. It made me sad that was all she wanted. She could’ve asked for anything.”

B: For those who aren’t in need, what can they do to give back? 

TH: “All they have to do is look. It’s easy to find volunteer opportunities. JustServe.org will match you up with someone who is looking for volunteers. There’s so many who are yearning to do more, but just aren’t being challenged. Like at Highland Hills, there have been 7th graders who, when we gave them a sheet and said “you need two hours of service” end up volunteering for 200 hours. It’s the three Ts: time, talent, treasures. Use those. You have a lot to give.”

B: Should volunteering come with an incentive?

TH: “While I would I initially say there shouldn’t be an incentive, there are so many destructions going on, that sometimes you just need something to push you over the edge. Over the past 40 years, the poverty rate in our nation hasn’t changed much at all. Why is it staying around 12 percent for 40 years when there are so many organizations out there trying to help? We have CEOs in our nation that are making 300 million dollars a year, but we have a food charity that could change the world making 85,000 dollars a year. What is wrong with that picture? 

I’ve found that once we get kids to our events, they have fun and they’re willing to do it the next time without an incentive. Because if they’re doing good, they can’t be doing bad.”

B: What does M4MM do? How do they help the community?

TH: “The history is in 2008, during the housing crisis, a lot of people lost their homes. My son who started the organization… he realized that to know his community, he had to be out in his community. 

“It’s a youth-serving, youth-led organization that partners with other youth organizations like Salvation Army, MyClub, and Kentucky Refugee Ministries.M4MM works to provide them children in poverty with toys, shoes, clothing, coats, and food, especially during the two weeks they’re out of school during the holidays.”

B: Describe how our local area is being helped this holiday season 

TH: “There are amazing churches and organizations like Hope Southern Indiana, Shop with a Cop, and families and kids that are willing to give up a little bit of their Christmas so they can help other kids. We probably have 35 sponsors willing to invest in M4MM and our youth leaders to make Christmas magical for the kids who may not get a Christmas.”

B: Is there anything else you’d like readers to know?

TH: “I would say the best way to minimize poverty is through education and a healthy lifestyle. Not doing drugs, smoking, not having sex when you’re young, being in a healthy relationship. Live, learn, give, earn. Being in a strong family is a central unit to society. And also, to not spend more than you have, don’t get yourself into debt and don’t have a bunch of credit.”

Tabitha Lopp is a stay-at-home mother of four living in Southern Indiana. Lopp offered to give her thoughts on the topic of poverty from personal experience.

B: What is your day-to-day life like during the holidays?

TL: “I’m a mother of four and it’s really hard, because you see everybody doing Christmas shopping, and you hear about everybody doing Black Friday, and everybody’s getting gifts… for us, it’s a little hard because we don’t get to do that extra. If it weren’t for the fact of the Angel Tree and things like that, you know, our children may not have anything under the tree… Christmas is supposed to be a joyous time, it’s supposed to be happy, and it’s really hard and stressful rather than happy for us.”

B: Do you think there are misconceptions around how the cycle of poverty begins for people?

TL: “At times, yes. I feel like a lot of your maybe higher-class [people] and things like that look at poverty as laziness, really. They look at it like, how is it that they can make it to where they’re at, but yet, we’re down here ‘not doing anything.’ I think that sometimes instead of people being more humble about it, they are more judgemental, honestly. And really, it makes it hard for people who are in poverty to ask for help or to reach out or things like that because they fear the judgement… I’ve only done the Angel Tree for the past two years, and even for me, it’s hard to go in there because I don’t want them to think I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. But in this day and age it’s hard to make ends meet.”

B: Do you feel that wealthy or otherwise privileged families spend too much at Christmas? Do you feel like there’s an over-commercialization?

TL: “Honestly, I think if they’re happy and if they’re able to do that, then that’s their own personal thing. It’s not for me to say… If they’re able to do that, that’s absolutely wonderful.”

B: Do you think there’s a stigma that comes along with being poor? If so, what and why?

TL: “I definitely think that wealthier people don’t quite understand. They’re not as accepting. And I do think, as we said earlier, that they do look at it a lot as us being lazy and not giving our full potential and things, when sometimes that’s really not the case. I’m not gonna say always, because I’m sure there are people in poverty, who, it’s on their own behalf. But there’s a lot of times too, just like in my situation, my husband does work, but even with him working, I’m a stay-at-home mom of four kids, so his paycheck that he gets doesn’t always make ends meet. It’s enough to kind of get us by as far as bills and things, but when it comes to the holidays… trying to keep up with bills plus doing holiday shopping and things, it makes it hard. So yes, I do think there’s a lot judgment, and I think they don’t quite understand unless they’ve been there.”

B: What do you wish that others knew or that you could tell them?

TL: “I wish that, people who are in poverty, knew that it is okay to ask for help. It is okay to struggle. All the way down to when I was a child, I have dealt with this kind of thing. It is okay to ask for help. I think that, people that are more wealthy, I think they need to understand more and instead of passing judgment be more compassionate about it. I feel like if you are wealthy and have the means to help people then you should, and it doesn’t even have to be nothing major.” 

B: Is there anything else you’d like readers to know?

TL: “I just know that for us, it’s supposed to be a happy, wonderful time, and a lot of that gets taken from us in poverty due to the fact of all the stress and the worry and things. And while they’re [people not in poverty] are enjoying their families and all of the above, there’s a lot of people who don’t have that… who may not have gifts come. I just wish that there was more compassion in the world.” 

How to apply for SNAP and free/reduced meals

By Christy Avery

The bell rings, and bellies rumble. Students rush excitedly out of class to the cafeteria, looking forward to a hot lunch and a break to refuel and chat with friends. Later, they might order pizza, get fast food, or cook with their families. Each evening, everyone is able to go to bed with a full stomach.

For many people across America, this is the reality; a second thought is never given to whether or not they will enjoy three meals that day. But for some financially-insecure families, food—whether served at school or at home—is not as easy to come by. 

Many families across America live in poverty: 39.7 million, according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2017 estimate. There are many reasons for this, such as high costs of living, low income, medical expenses, unemployment, and lack of benefits. Making ends meet can be difficult for households, and basic needs such as food can be increasingly expensive.

Because of this, governments and schools offer assistance. The most well-known and widely-used programs are the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)—otherwise known as food stamps—and the National School Lunch Program. These services offer approved households with benefits, such as an EBT card with money that families can use to buy food, or free or reduced school meals to keep children who live in struggling households from going hungry as they get their education.

Assistance programs support a multitude of people each year; in 2018 alone, SNAP served 40 million Americans (according to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities), and the National School Lunch Program provided free/reduced meals to 29.7 million children daily, according to the United States Department of Agriculture. Although crucial, these services can be difficult to navigate. The Bagpiper has compiled separate guides on how to use each. 

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SNAP: A Guide on How to Receive Government Assistance 

According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, 1 in 10 Indiana residents receive SNAP each year. But how do families in need begin the process of receiving funds, and what happens throughout? 

First, families need to know if they are eligible to receive SNAP. Benefits are not freely given to anyone; hopeful recipients must meet certain guidelines in order to be approved. 

To be eligible, households must usually: 

-have a gross monthly income at or below 130% of the poverty line

-have no more than $2,500 in assets. Assets are resources that can be used to purchase food, such as extra money in bank accounts or savings. However, if a household includes an elderly or disabled person, assets may be up to $3,500

Applicants should also know that: 

If an adult applicant is unemployed, childless and able-bodied, they can still receive SNAP benefits—however, these benefits are normally limited to a period of 3 months every 3 years. 

After reviewing eligibility guidelines, there are important items that must be prepared before an application can be filled out. 

Applicants will need:

-The names, dates of birth, citizenship status and Social Security numbers of everyone in the home. Note that citizenship status does not normally factor into whether someone is eligible or not.

-Income received by each person in the household

-Proof of shelter expenses such as a recent rent receipt or utility bill

-(if applicable) Proof of child support 

-(if applicable) Proof of medical expenses not covered by insurance, such as prescriptions, co-payments or premiums for the elderly or disabled

Where can applications be found?

Applications can be found in a variety of places. The most common method is to apply online at fssabenefits.org, but those without computer access or who prefer a paper copy can also:

-print an application at fssabenefits.org

-call Indiana Family and Social Services at 800-403-0864

-visit their local Division of Family Resources office 

-Request to have an application mailed to their home 

Applications can be turned in online, by mail or at a local SNAP office. Depending on the state, faxed or emailed applications may be accepted. 

What happens after applying?

After receiving an application, the state agency or SNAP office will process it. This can take up to 30 days. 

Within that month, applicants will participate in another important step: an eligibility interview. This is completed over the phone or in person; applicants can usually choose. The purpose of this interview is to further examine each individual or household’s case and to verify information. Applicants are typically asked about their household, income status, and “other pertinent information needed to determine eligibility” (in.gov).

Once the interview is completed, hopeful applicants will receive notification by mail regarding their eligibility status and whether they receive benefits or not. 

What if an applicant is accepted?

If accepted, participants in the SNAP program will receive benefits within the 30 days from the date they turned the application in. EBT cards, PIN numbers, and other important information will be mailed. 

What if an applicant is not approved, but feel they should be? 

An appeal can be made by contacting the local office or agency where the application was submitted.

How is SNAP used?

Food stamps are no longer paper coupons; today, money is loaded onto an Electronic Benefit Transfer (EBT) card. These cards work like debit cards and can be used at any grocery store, as well as some farmers’ markets and other establishments. Benefits are refilled automatically each month. 

Be aware that EBT cards can only be used to purchase food, and that they cannot be used to purchase certain items such as:

-alcohol 

-tobacco products

-hot food 

-any prepared food intended for immediate, on-premise consumption (such as fast food).

How much assistance will households receive?

Amounts of benefits are based on level of need. How much a household or individual gets will depend on household size, income and other factors. According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, in 2017 the average SNAP household received about $254 per month. The average recipient or individual received about $126. In both cases, this averages out to approximately $1.40 per person per meal.

SNAP can be the difference between healthy and hungry. However, even with the extra assistance, making ends meet and putting food on the table can be difficult. 

Here are some tips to stretch SNAP dollars and make the most out of benefits:

-compare prices of items at different stores

-consider making loose meal plans

-buy in bulk when possible

-consider using coupons to lower shopping costs 

-stock up on canned foods, beans, lentils, and other filling, cheap foods that provide multiple servings in one unit

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National School Lunch Program: How Children Can Receive Free or Reduced Lunches

Proper nutrition is essential to education. At most schools, breakfast and lunch are served, making it easy for students to stay full throughout the day. However, these meals cost, and many families struggle to purchase them as the cost of living adds up. Millions of children and families benefit from free or reduced breakfasts/lunches each year due to the National School Lunch Program. 

There are a couple of ways children can be eligible. Children can eat at a lower price or free if:

-household income is within the limits on the Federal Income Guidelines -Children can also be approved through “Direct Certification.” This means that families who already receive benefits from programs such as SNAP or Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANP) are automatically eligible for free meals. School districts use information from the state Social Security department to certify students for Direct Certification.

If a child is pre-approved, a letter will be mailed to the home at the start of the school year. 

If not pre-approved, an application must be filled out. Applications are now primarily online. For New Albany-Floyd County students, they can be found at NAFCSnutrition.com; applications and information for other school districts can be found on the school corporation’s site.

Before filling out the application, families will need:

-gross income (income received before taxes) for ALL household members, even if non-related. Include income earned by children such as child support.

-if receiving assistance from a government program, the household’s case number will be needed

-a pen with black ink; pencil is not permitted

-Social Security numbers of all children and adults 

It is important to fill out the application thoroughly. Households only need to fill out one application for all children in the home.

After sending in the application, households will be notified of their children’s status by mail. Eligibility guidelines change each year, so unless a household is pre-approved, an application must be filled out each school year. 

After approval, what are the benefits?

Those receiving free meals can get a standard breakfast and lunch with no cost, every day. 

Those receiving reduced meals will be charged 30 cents for breakfast and 40 cents for lunch. While meal prices vary by state and school, reduced meal prices are equal across the nation.

Textbook Benefits

In many school districts, including NAFCS, the benefit of receiving free or reduced meals extends beyond the lunchroom. The cost of education also does. Textbook expenses are billed to families each year, and are often hundreds of dollars. 

Floyd Central bookkeeper Amy Romines said that even if a family can afford to pay for meals, “where people get into trouble is book rental. They might get hammered with a three hundred dollar bill. With someone living on low wages, that’s gonna be almost insurmountable.” 

However, Romines said that if someone qualifies for free/reduced lunches in the state of Indiana, they also receive reduced textbook costs. 

“If they’re having issues with one or the other [lunches or textbooks], they’re usually eligible for [assistance with] the other.”

For more information on how to receive textbook assistance, contact the school.

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Column: more than a word and more than a number

By Christy Avery

A couple of years ago, yours truly sat on the crinkly paper atop her ex-doctor’s table, going through what she thought was a routine checkup until he took a detour… to my weight.

Ever been told to “lay off the Twinkies” by your doctor and went home crying? I did. But I shouldn’t have.

Almost every moment of that appointment from a year or so ago is ingrained in my mind. Stepping on the scale and feeling the sting of the self-imposed and societal shame I had grown up with led to developing a complicated and often unhealthy relationship with my body that is still a part of me today.
These struggles I and so many others share do not come from within— they are branded upon us over time. The stigma and stereotypes surrounding health, weight, and body image is one of the most harmful matters that society increasingly gives a voice to.

Two particularly threatening demons right now: concern trolling and unconscious bias.
Concern trolling is the circuitous judging of one’s life, choices, or body. This most often manifests as rude, unnecessary comments or “tips,” sugarcoated with a smile and an “I’m just worried.” It is like a family member asking if you really need that second plate at Thanksgiving with that unsettling glint in the eye. Unconscious bias is essentially the same thing, only without the realization or intent of judging.
Growing up, I experienced both so many times without realizing it. That is one of the worst parts— body-shaming is such a common part of our culture that it is almost abnormal to not be affected by it. These issues may seem prevalent right now in today’s social climate, but the damage begins and spreads with people of all ages and genders.

We were born in a body that was ours, a body that should not be scrutinized or discussed as we grow, but so often are until we feel as if our body isn’t ours anymore. We spend most of our lives desperate to reclaim ourselves, but why do we have to?
That is a question I have been asking myself for nearly ten years and have just recently come to terms with. Elementary school was the first time I experienced body-shaming, when the kid ahead of me in line turned around and asked, “are you pregnant?” Although probably a case of unconscious bias, that was when the seeds of self-hatred were planted, and it still pops into my mind every time I hear unfiltered comments about looks, said just because they can be.

People are led to this point of insecurity because of what others want. Shame is not intrinsic; no one feels they are wrong until others tell them they are. Concern trolling and other biased behaviors, needless to say, fix nothing. If you are so concerned about someone’s body that you shame them in order to “help,” you are doing the exact opposite. No one needs to be fixed, and weight discrimination is an attempt that only makes eating disorders and mental health problems worse.

Unfortunately, many people do not seek help because they are afraid or have had past unpleasant experiences with doctors. Although the typical suggestions by doctors such as healthy eating, exercise, and sleep may help, the way these are delivered by healthcare professionals is a problem. Trying to get help with a serious disorder is hard enough— no one needs to hear that every problem in the world can be magically fixed by losing weight. That is utterly false; anyone can have problems at any size. Dismissing one problem with another is detrimental to the bigger patients that doctors claim to care so much about. A mental health problem cannot be fixed by weight loss if the problem goes beyond skin-deep— as it usually does. Our brain spends enough time criticizing ourselves; do not tell those of us who struggle with mental illness and body issues that we are less worthy of treatment or that it is our fault. Respect should be given to everyone, regardless of size.

Within weight discrimination, the underlying issue is usually something called thin privilege. This is exactly what it sounds like: having the ability to be seen as typically “thin” and/or not fat, and receiving less hate and discrimination because of it. Besides the obvious larger chance of social acceptance, are things in life that people with thin privilege get to have or have easier than those without, such as being able to try on anything in most stores, or even having lower health insurance rates. Marilyn Wann, author and activist in the “fat acceptance” movement, was once denied insurance due to her size. She also made a point that should be, but unfortunately is not, axiomatic: “The only thing anyone can accurately diagnose when looking at a fat person is their own level of weight prejudice.”

In today’s world, people have a tendency to surmise other’s level of health without stopping to think about the fact that, newsflash, no one is perfect, and thin people can be just as unhealthy as bigger people. I’m not here to shame anyone for what they do because we’re all human, but those bags of chips and candy sitting in the cabinet? Bad for everyone. Having a smaller frame does not make one immune to consequences or health concerns. That’s one privilege no one has. So before opening your mouth to judge, think about the fact that you can’t tell what other people put into theirs based off their appearance. I eat pretty healthy most of the time. I exercise a few days a week. I make a conscious effort to take care of myself, yet I’m still not tiny (which is fine.) And I’m not the only one. Weight and size are complex, and there are factors that play into it other than diet and exercise, such as genetics and body composition.

The math is simple, guys: Physical appearance does not equal health, health does not equal superiority, and neither correlate with the worth someone holds.

Looking back, there was a lot more wrong with what that doctor and boy said than my younger mind was educated on or could process. Although a doctor being concerned about a patient’s health is perfectly normal, what is not normal is stating it in an scathing, unprofessional way. Not to mention the scare he gave me about diseases I probably had that later looked to be false– when we called back, there were no signs of any complications. Uncalled-for “warnings” and comments are extremely effective, right?

So if physical appearance must be talked about… I am fat. I know. Whatever way you want to twist it, I get that my body in not the conventionally attractive one. I’m not a size 0 and I don’t have Victoria’s-Secret-Model legs. But you know what? The very fact that there are standards for what a conventionally attractive body looks like is dehumanizing and ridiculous.

And I know, you might be objecting: “No one is fat, everyone is beautiful.”

But why can’t we be both? Humans are multidimensional; we are a kaleidoscope of things, most of which we should not deny. So I feel like I’m doing myself and all the other fat people out there a disservice by following the myth that there is only one type of beautiful body. To me, the word “fat” is just a word, one I want to reclaim. It is not a synonym with “ugly,” “worthless,” or “wrong.” It is an adjective that holds no meaning about who I really am, which spans far beyond what I look like.

Although I wrestle with my demons every day and they sometimes get the best of me, it is incredibly freeing to take a shot at self-love. Because struggle doesn’t mean failure, and we should shut down the doctors, kids, or voices inside us that say anything different. No one should apologize for simply taking up space in the world.